- Do you feel like you are in a relationship rut and don’t know how to get out?
- Can you talk to someone when you are feeling frustrated, mad, insulted or hurt?
Many of us did not learn the skills in school or in our original families to be able to speak to the people we love with clarity and conviction. However learning how to speak with personal integrity, when we feel desperate or worn down by the other’s person’s criticism, can help us rescue a difficult relationship from a merry go round of suffering.
Learning to speak wisely and well to the people that matter can be done in a number of ways.
- Some people can pick up a book
- Others can scan the internet for helpful stories and blogs to inspire them. These methods require motivation and self discipline, to get you unstuck from your particular relationship rut.
- Yet it is a real challenge to be able to find your best self in your most important conversations. It requires you to be centred and clear about what is important to you and to find empathy for the the other person involved. There are so many reasons why you don’t want to understand your spouses’ side of things.
- Another effective way most people discover who they are and what they really want is through their relationships with other people. Unfortunately with our most important relationships with a partner we tend to have narrow, habitual conversations, where our experience of ourself and the other person is small and fixed.
- So the challenge in this situation is to find your real voice and enlarge it in these relationships.
One way to go about learning how to do this is through seeing a skilled relationship counsellor. Some people can empower and enhance us to bring forward our best selves. You can be professionally assisted to create a more accurate and complex picture of yourself and your partner. You can learn to navigate a crisis point when you can’t make yourself heard by the other important person in your life. Learning to use your voice is the heart of who you are in the world. It is the foundation for helping you achieve greater intimacy and self regard. So if you would like to learn to navigate your most important relationships with clarity and courage, consider the personal care and intellectual rigour that couples psychotherapy offers.