Compfight
No relationship goes untested and every couple faces their own share of problems. The ability to overcome these challenges plays a crucial role in deciding to stay together.
The question is, how do you get back on track when you stumble upon these blocks on the road?
Listed below are some of the most common problems couples go through and how you can mend them should they happen.
Cheating
Infidelity is probably one of the toughest problems a couple can face. Not only is it painful, it also impacts on a person’s sense of trust. This experience alone can lead to the end of the relationship. However, not everyone who’s been cheated on simply let their partners go. Some find it hard to end the relationship, especially when they’ve been together for years, whilst others choose to brave the aftermath of infidelity to try and build trust again.
Repairing this breach of trust requires utmost honesty about both your feelings. It is vital that the two of you find a way to be on the same page, whether you plan to salvage the relationship immediately or take a break first.
Cheating is a serious relationship offence and if you get caught, the decent things to do are to own up to it and to atone. It’s bad enough that you lied about being faithful; don’t make it worse by denying your misbehaviour. Your partner may get overwhelmed by your admission, but you owe them your honesty if you want to salvage the relationship. Once your spouse is ready to hear you out, explain why you cheated in the first place and offer to do whatever it takes to start again.
On the flipside, getting cheated on isn’t just painful. It can also make you feel vulnerable and inadequate. Regardless of the circumstances, you need to tell yourself that you don’t deserve to be cheated on.
But what if you catch your partner red-handed or he/she confesses that he/she has been cheating? Ask yourself what you want—do you want to stay or do you want to leave?
If you want to keep the relationship:
- be prepared to listen to your partner and to talk about what happened.
- you might need to give each other some space for a while
- however it’s important to go back and resolve the issues so the hurt is not just left to hang around.
- it’s definitely going to take time for you to rebuild your trust again, but if you both commit to being honest with each other as long as you’re together, you may be able to save the relationship.
In cases where the offence is too much for the both of you to handle but you still want to be together, you can also seek couples counseling to aid you in patching things up. Keep in mind that, considering how severe this offence it, it would take ample time to get back on track.
Lack of Time
Being in a relationship entails spending quality time with your partner to strengthen your bond. Otherwise, you risk growing apart until both of you realise that you don’t have anything in common anymore.
Mend the gap by committing to spending quality time together. “Quality” means really talking to each other; not just waiting for the other to finish talking. If you live together, maybe make breakfast together. Or if you are more of a night owl consider planning a catch up at home for a nightcap. If you don’t live in the same house, devote at least one day during the weekend and tweak conventional dates by doing something different together. Maybe for you, it’s going to a concert instead of a movie, or dining in that artsy restaurant in the city.
The point is no matter how much (or little) time you get to spend together, don’t treat it like it’s just your responsibility. Make the most of it by doing things that you both truly enjoy.
Gaps in Communication
Barely spending time with each other can also result in gaps in communication between couples. Less communication can affect the quality of your conversations, which becomes even more evident when you are dealing with problems between you.
Apart from making time to communicate, make it a habit of telling each other what you truly feel, especially when it’s starting to become a problem. Bottling up your feelings may result in something coming out the wrong way so it’s important that you address issues as soon as they arise. Give these tips a try, after all everyone wants a better relationship, make some changes in yours today.
SHEILA FRYE is a writer for the Associated Counsellors and Psychologists Sydney. A network of professional counsellors and psychologists. http://www.counsellingsydney.com.au/
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